Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Too Many to Focus on One - The Issue With Dating More Than One Person at a Time

Opinions may vary, but the question remains. "It is alright to date more than one person at one time?" The country that is most into the whole "multiple dating" thing, the US. If you ask a European about it, they'll just raise their eyebrows at you.

Surprised? You shouldn't be. Bothered by this fact? Well perhaps you should be.

I'm a big believer in just dating one person at a time. I don't think a person can make a solid choice by juggling various people in their lives for too long. People think they by having several partners they'll have many options, but I think it actually has the opposite effect. I think people get confused; they can't connect in a natural and sincere way with the other people, if they have others in mind. As liberal as Europeans are, they actually take dating and relationships very seriously and dislike the concept of having multiple partners.

When they meet a person, they immediately assess whether they have chemistry and if they would be a good match. If they feel that initial spark, they will move forward. If they don't, they are not going to go on dates just for the fun of it.

Now, of course, various countries have their own dating intricacies, and this is just a general assessment.

In the States, people are used to going through a checklist of items that they want in a partner. That's why they go on various dates to see who completes their checklist the best. What's wrong with that you may ask. Only your belief!

If you think you should be with someone because they are good looking, smart, rich, funny, educated etc., then by all means go by your checklist and select the partner that fits it best. You may overlook love in all this, but who cares, you wanted someone who fits your list, right?

The more passionate individuals tend to ignore this list. Yes, of course they want someone at their level, but what's most important to them is a solid connection.

So, it's up to you what you value most and what you believe is most important when selecting a partner.

I'm a big fan of just dating one person. Even if you do find out later that it just isn't working, at least you've given it a fair chance. If you're checking out several people at once, your brain - and your heart - just gets overwhelmed.

Find the one you love and stick to him/her. One, in this case, is the magic number.

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