Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Too Many to Focus on One - The Issue With Dating More Than One Person at a Time

Opinions may vary, but the question remains. "It is alright to date more than one person at one time?" The country that is most into the whole "multiple dating" thing, the US. If you ask a European about it, they'll just raise their eyebrows at you.

Surprised? You shouldn't be. Bothered by this fact? Well perhaps you should be.

I'm a big believer in just dating one person at a time. I don't think a person can make a solid choice by juggling various people in their lives for too long. People think they by having several partners they'll have many options, but I think it actually has the opposite effect. I think people get confused; they can't connect in a natural and sincere way with the other people, if they have others in mind. As liberal as Europeans are, they actually take dating and relationships very seriously and dislike the concept of having multiple partners.

When they meet a person, they immediately assess whether they have chemistry and if they would be a good match. If they feel that initial spark, they will move forward. If they don't, they are not going to go on dates just for the fun of it.

Now, of course, various countries have their own dating intricacies, and this is just a general assessment.

In the States, people are used to going through a checklist of items that they want in a partner. That's why they go on various dates to see who completes their checklist the best. What's wrong with that you may ask. Only your belief!

If you think you should be with someone because they are good looking, smart, rich, funny, educated etc., then by all means go by your checklist and select the partner that fits it best. You may overlook love in all this, but who cares, you wanted someone who fits your list, right?

The more passionate individuals tend to ignore this list. Yes, of course they want someone at their level, but what's most important to them is a solid connection.

So, it's up to you what you value most and what you believe is most important when selecting a partner.

I'm a big fan of just dating one person. Even if you do find out later that it just isn't working, at least you've given it a fair chance. If you're checking out several people at once, your brain - and your heart - just gets overwhelmed.

Find the one you love and stick to him/her. One, in this case, is the magic number.

Attract Your Love With The Right Online Dating Profile

Love is just a simple word but so many people long to love and be loved in return. There are so many single people out there searching for love that some may feel that it's never going to come for them. Singles may feel that it's too tiring to keep on searching for love when there is really no guarantee that you can really be happy. There are no guarantees that when you love you will also be loved. You need to take a leap of faith and believe in the power of love.

In the olden days, people are matched by their parents and married out. In some cultures, you don't even get to see your intended couple until your wedding day. Different cultures and beliefs also have different wedding styles and traditions. Nowadays, singles usually meet in bars and parties by mutual friends. They talk and get to know each other. At the end of the day, if you like to know each-other then you can exchange numbers or emails and see if you fit each-other.

Online dating is now getting popular. A lot of people now go into online dating sites to get to know other singles. There are now numerous dating sites having millions of singles who want to find someone to love. Most people try out online dating services and see if their true love awaits them there. There are a lot of people to meet with in on-line dating sites that people often rely on online dating profiles to pick potential matches.

Let's face it you need more than a cute picture to get picked as a potential match. You need to have a substantial and honest profile to attract more people to you. You need to be attractive and engaging like your promoting yourself (but in a good way) to people. They need to see that you are honest and they can relate to you as a person. Most people have no idea how to pimp up their profile and they wound up being disappointed that nobody picked them.

The search for love will continue on for all the singles out there. Keep your chin up and don't lose faith in love. There are millions of singles out there waiting for you. Try out internet dating and see for yourself who's out there. You can find potential life partners and who knows, the right one may be waiting for you.

Jaxky Lim wants to share his knowledge about dating and relationships. Based on real life experiences and lessons from his respected friends and life teachers. His online dating profile site is created to share those resources so men and women all around the world can benefit from it.

3 Tips for Screening Potential Dates in Online Dating Chat Rooms

According to the US Census, 50% of New Yorkers and 70% of the population of Washington DC are singles. The total number of singles in US is close to 100 million. Yet you don't find enough good candidates for dating! Maybe you need better networking. One option is to log on to a website that has online dating chat rooms.

Online dating chat rooms have been placed on dating websites for a very important reason. As the numbers suggest, there are hundreds or thousands of potential dates that you could meet at a website. Many of them would be interested in meeting you and taking things further. But since there is hardly anything you know about each other, how do you decide whether to move from the online world to real life dating?

Most often, meeting the wrong person is the end result. Online dating chat rooms offer a way out of this. Since a profile has too little information on which to base a decision and a meeting takes time and effort, you can use online dating chat rooms to decide whether the suitor is worth spending your time on. But what exactly does one look for? Here is a small list to help.

What to Look For on Online Dating Chat Rooms?

Self Confidence: Confidence, they say, is the most sought after trait in the dating arena. People lacking confidence are often seen as needy and clingy. In extreme cases, they can be an emotional wreck and can bring instability to your life. Screening for confidence is partially hardwired into human brains. People pick clues of confidence, while meeting others. But explicitly looking for it, in your pre dating screening process, will ensure that you meet the right people.

However, remember there is a difference between confidence and overconfidence. Overconfident people are insecure and are putting up a display of fake confidence to mask their inner flaws. Avoid them.

Self Discipline: A relationship must follow its due course and must pass through a series of stages. You first show casual interest, enjoy each other's company and then start a romantic relationship. Any suitor that tries to woo you on online dating chat rooms must understand this. If you find someone skipping stages and jumping the gun too soon, beware! It can be flattering in the beginning, but it becomes boring later. Your suitor must be self disciplined enough to hold on to their emotions until they know you feel the same way too. This signifies that they are in no hurry and are genuinely looking for a partner, rather than being in love with the idea of being in love!

Pleasant Company: If you find your suitors dull or lacking in enthusiasm, avoid them! They may be great people but you need to understand that chemistry is all about pleasing each other. If they can't bring a smile to your face, they aren't your best choice. Look for people with a good sense of humor, but don't overemphasize it. You are looking for a dating partner and not a standup comedian! You can gauge their sense of humor on online dating chat rooms.

A last word of caution - make sure you get to know the person well before you agree to meet offline. We all know the risks of internet stalkers.

If you are looking for 1000's of interesting profiles as well as the opportunity to pre-screen them. This site has online dating chat rooms to ensure initial communication and aid you in making a better choice.

How to Use Online Dating Sites for Men Seeking Big Beautiful Women

Big Beautiful Women, or BBWs, are an amazingly popular category of women in the world of online dating.

For some guys, Big Beautiful Women are the be all and end all - they absolutely hate skinny women, and even women with average or athletic builds. A lot of guys are into BBWs as a kind of fetish - they will perhaps be married to "normal" women, but get their kicks out of dating and/or having sex with larger ladies. It is common for men - even single guys - to keep their sexual preference for big girls hidden, as they might be afraid of being ridiculed by their friends.

So, for men who lean towards BBWs, the Internet offers them the chance to hook up with plump babes with a great degree of confidentiality. They do not have to parade their large beauties in public, and can do all their wooing and seducing on the Internet. Another reason to hit the online dating sites to find fat women is that many of these girls are ashamed of their size, and for them the online dating scene is a perfect opportunity to meet guys that appreciate a fuller figure. Others may in fact be so huge, that it is an incredible effort for them just to leave their house.

The great news for men seeking bigger women is that there is a higher chance of success with these ladies than with many other categories (sporty, slim or beautiful women). Fat women absolutely adore the attention lovers of BBWs shower all over them. For these gals, the Internet is the greatest thing to come into their lives since home delivered pizza!

If you want to use mainstream dating websites, then there are plenty of big chicks to choose from here. Finding them is not hard: simply enter your preferences when browsing through the member profiles and up they will come, literally in their thousands. Some fat women prefer their male partners to also be large (the "Mike and Molly" scenario), so don't approach them if they state this on their profile and you are not a big man. Luckily, others are delighted that non-fat men are interested, and may even have their own fetish for skinny dudes.

If you want to specialize - here is a random list of just five dating sites specializing in BBWs and large people in general:

    * bbwdating.com
    * chubbyfishing.com
    * bbwromance.com
    * largeandlovely.com
    * bbwpersonalsplus.com

And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Rather than recommending any of these, the best online dating advice for men seeking big and beautiful girls is to check them all out and see which one fits them the best. Also, have a look in your own region by putting the name of your town, city or state in the search engine when you set off on your large-lady Internet dating adventures.

Some handy abbreviations (apart from BBW) you might like to know for trying out dating websites for big folks are BHM (Big Handsome Man) and FA (Fat Admirer).

Cam Langdon offers online dating tips for men in his popular e-book. Cam spent much time and effort learning all about the strange world of Internet dating. Now, you can download this guide for free - without signing up for any dumb newsletters.

What Sucks About Online Dating

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, I knew a guy. This guy was interesting because he lived his life by everything bad, not good. That may sound a little strange but consider your life and the conversations you may have on any given day. How often are you inundated with advertising, or endorsements from friends or messages preaching the positives of something? For example, "This restaurant is great because it has the best salad bar in town." Or how about, "You should shop at Nordstrom's this weekend because they are having a great sale!" My most recent message, "You should stay at this hotel because they have the largest rooms!"

Everybody in the world from industry to people always puts their best foot forward. They highlight the good, and hide the bad. We sell based on our assets, we win based on being the best. This did not work on the guy I knew. He lived his life by everything bad. He wanted to know that the lettuce in the salad was 3 days old instead of fresh. If that was not bad enough for him to avoid, he would eat the salad. If the sale at Nordstrom's was going on, he would want to know the mark-up Nordstrom's is making on each on sale item. If it was not too much, he would shop the sale. If this guy was hotel shopping, he would want to know that the maid service is horrible, and that the room smelled like smoke. If he could live with the bad, he would move forward.

Let's take his notion and talk about something so very near and dear to all of our wandering hearts. The theory here: If you knew all the things bad about dating online, can you live with them? Does the benefit outweigh the drawbacks?

1) There are a lot of fake profiles on dating websites. Fake profiles are spammers posing as real people. When choosing a website to meet people, you have a lot of options. Many dating sites have advanced spam filters and moderators that block spam activity and thus, keeping the nuisance to a minimum. On the flip side the vast majority of websites do not have any spam filters, meaning 9 out of every 10 members are fake! Pick your website of choice carefully, and know that no matter what, you have to be weary of spammers.

2) The quality of online candidates is low. While this perception of online dating cannot be considered false, it most certainly cannot be considered true! People believe that those who online date cannot find a date in real life because they are not good looking or are socially inept. Fact: Not all people on online dating websites look like Brad Pitt or Megan Foxx. Fact: Some people join dating websites because they are not graced with the skill or confidence to meet strangers in a social environment. Fact: Just because the first two are facts, it does not mean these are poor quality members! Bottom line, a dating website is a reflection of the real world and there is something for everyone. Who is anybody to judge what is good or bad? Realize that when you date online, have to meet people you're not going to like until you find your perfect match. That's life. The next time you are in a crowded room, look around you. It'll resemble all the members on an inernet dating site.

3) There aren't enough people in my area. For many dating websites, especially the younger ones, this is most certainly true, especially if you live in a rural area. If this is the case, you have two things you may have to learn to deal with. - You could meet somebody online through a dating website that lives in the nearest major city or town to you, and commute. The commute may be a drag, but would you drive an hour to find the man of your dreams? Your other option is to join the website, and keep checking your profile on a weekly basis to keep track of all the new people joining who live in your area, and have first pick of the litter! If you feel like being philanthropic, you can even share the dating profile with some of your friends, who will then share it with their friends via Facebook, Twitter or whatever. Before you know it, a huge number of people will be joining that internet dating website in your area, and you're not going to know any of them!

4) Online dating is frowned upon. It may be shocking, but even in today's world there are people who do not respect the service internet dating provides the lonely. In their defense, these people have low confidence, low self esteem and will probably be single forever. They are not date worthy. Those who online date need courage to try something new, wisdom to play the online introduction game, and the confidence to dismiss the fools who judge. At the end of the day, you will marry and live a happy life, and they will not.

In conclusion, Online Dating Sucks! So do hotel rooms, so does Nordstrom's, and so do all restaurants. No matter what the service, subject, or product, there is something wrong with them. Online dating is not for everybody, because for some, the bad outweighs the good. On the flip side, you should now know the negative things about online dating. Are you able to deal with the bad when the end result could be the love of your life? You be the judge...

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